things i never expected to hear

Today has been strange. In the last 24 hours, I learned something relatively insignificant that half of me wishes I hadn't learned and that the other half of me treasures. I'm not quite sure what to do with it yet.
I wanted to go for a walk with someone this afternoon but lacking any responses in time I went alone and it was really good actually. I found a tiny park that I didn't know about and I sat down with my journal and I wrote and wrote and wrote of what I was thinking and feeling and all of hte things I am terrified of forgetting. It was draining (funny how writing does that to me even though I'm not really a writer) but somewhat therapeutic and if nothing else it gave me a place to remember.
I don't want to go into details because the only people it will matter to are the few people who already know what's going on. Today has been the strangest day. It's been a very sad, thoughtful one for me for the most part, but tonight at the Oracle office it was also a happier one. The bulk of my day was spent in somewhat melancholy contemplation while tonight (up until now) was mostly spent in engaging conversation and happier reminiscing. Forgive the spelling if I have inaccuracies; I'm not in the absolute best state of mind right now and it's late. Not that the lateness matters. Last night I didn't go to bed until now and it took me at least an hour after that to fall asleep at all. It is interesting to note how little sleep I can function on. That knowledge is useful for now I know I can easily work two jobs this summer because where I used to worry about getting sleep I know now that I don't have to because I'm perfectly capable of functioning on a mechanical level without it.
Last night Malin and I went to Uptown and just hung out for quite awhile until it was fairly late. It was calming for me to be away from campus. I don't know why but living in Graham and/or Manney's old room especially with my roommate really weirds me out lately for no particularly good reason. I hope that whoever lives here next year works for the Oracle. It would only be rihgt. I may have mentioned this before but I am going to reiterate it anyway.
I'm sad that my last layout for this year is done. I hate the thought of working at the Oracle next year without Graham and Brian - it's inconcievable. How can we run it without them? I don't have any idea what I'm doing. I know next to nothing about layout or photoshop or any of the five hundred thousand things I ought to know. I'm afraid of trying to figure out what I'm doing after like 9 months.
But I should try to sleep. I'm always afraid my roommate is secretly awake and annoyed even though logically I know it'd take world war three to wake her up. Eugh. Oh well. I should try to sleep anyway. haha, good luck to me.