blogs are strange...

...because when I post in a blog, I don't really think that much about what anyone else is going to think of what I write or how they'll react to it. Sometimes I do, but more often I'm just letting the words fly out of my fingers until some of the emotion that I'm feeling drains out of me as well. So I probably often sound a lot more dramatic when I write than I ought to. It's not that I'm writing anything for reassurance or to be complimented or to boost my ego, it's just what happens to be the truth to me at the particular moment in which I'm writing it. When I'm feeling calmer or happier or whatever, I tend to have less of a need to get it out, and so there tends to be less written by me at those moments.
When I very first starting having a blog, I didn't really give out the address to many people and I also didn't really think about anyone but my friends reading it. And even though I knew that posting something on the internet meant that pretty much anyone could read what I write, I didn't really think anyone did. Until the other day. I got a comment from a lady who I've never met. It was a really nice comment, it's just that the effect of said comment was that I finally realized that whatever I write I'm putting out there for anyone to access. Which is fine, but it suddenly makes me feel and seem a tad more vulnerable than I had really realized before. Interesting. If the stuff I write in my blog seems dramatic sometimes though, man, you should see my real journal. Which you won't, because no one does. But it's much more detailed and in-depth. I love having my regular journal though. It's leather (which some people might be opposed to but I love the smell and the feel and the look, plus it's supremely durable) and I have spent hours at a time writing in it, especially lately. It's a different feeling, actually writing something out instead of typing. It seems to me to require more careful forethought and deliberation. When I'm typing, I can almost type at the speed of thought, but when I write, I'm really contemplating the space that I'm taking up on the page because it seeems like a more real space, while the space on an internet page seems like more a virtual space (that's the influence my philosophy class has on me).
I think technology makes too many things too easy and even though it makes it easier to keep in touch with people, I think it separates them just as much as it brings them together. I'm with Brian on this issue, and as such I've determined to not purchase an iPod, even if that means that I have to bring a separate small suitcase to carry some of my cd collection to Europe. iPods, in general, keep people entirely in their own worlds and away from everyone who is actually around them.
In an effort to fight this, I plan to have a good time tonight at the Oracle party and after party before being picked up by my dad tomorrow morning to celebrate my mom's graduation - she's getting her master's degree at the age of 51! I'm proud of her.