I will be on my merry way home in just over 24 hours, and I'm amazed at how glad I am about that. It's been a pretty good semester, but I'm just tired and worn out. I need to go home, and I'm glad that I get to do that tomorrow.
I'm trying to buckle down and WRITE my final paper for lit. theory, already, but I'm having a lot of trouble caring enough to write a good paper. And knowing that I have to spit out an Ethics paper after that doesn't make it any easier, even though both are relatively short and not really that difficult to write.
Brit missed her jury for bass lessons yesterday, which is definitely bad. Basically it means she is screwed for any kind of decent grade in that, because she has to be graded on performance (since that's the Hamline Plan credit that goes along with the course) and the only day that the jury met was yesterday. I feel so crappy for her; that would suck so absolutely. I don't have any understanding of how that might affect a person, but I'm pretty sure I'd be banging my head against the wall. She, however, is handling it with much more maturity and grace than I suspect I might.
At least classes are done. I had really good courses and profs. this semester, but I'm so tired and there has been such an incredible amount of shit that has happened in the lives of so many of my friends that I just want to go home and be with them. I don't want to get into any details (because details would take volumes upon volumes in order to explain everything properly) but suffice it to say that I need to spend some time with them.
Wednesday, December 15, 2004
Tuesday, December 14, 2004
Aaargh!!
Finals! They're killin' me, man. Not really. I'm already finished with two classes, which is awesome. At the end of my Brit. Lit. final today (which was TOUGH, by the way!) my prof. asked me to come see her in her office later, so I started to freak out and tried to remember if there were assignments I had somehow missed or something, but such was not the case. She asked what year I was, and when I told her I was a sophomore, she said, "Well, what I have to say to you might then be irrelevant," and she told me that she was going to ask me to apply to the conferences that English majors can apply for but that they usually only consider juniors/seniors who have gone through the Seminar course already, which I have (obviously) not done yet. She told me that my being a sophomore only made my work more remarkable (!!!!!) and that she hoped I would keep it in mind.
And I am not using this as an outlet for bragging or anything, but this just made my day so wonderful. I know I should be over the whole worrying if I'm good enough in my major and worrying about not having any skills, but I'm not. I usually manage to put up a much more secure front than I actually have, and so this was so incredibly reassuring and wonderful for me.
I'm the same way about working at the Oracle; most of the time I just think I'm wasting their time or taking up space. Which is probably not necessarily true, but I feel so worthless around there sometimes! Then again, if I were really worthless, Graham and Manney probably wouldn't be as nice to me as they are. So maybe it's all okay.
I also had my R.A. interview yesterday. I think it went reasonably well, but now that I know they are interviewing a total of ten people for the position and two of those people are already C.A.s on campus, I'm really not expecting to get it anymore at all. But who knows, I guess it could happen, I'm just very aware that the odds aren't too much in my favor.
Truly, today has been so much better than I would have expected. I still have two papers to finish up for Lit. Theory and Ethics by Thursday, but I'm actually planning (hoping) to finish them tomorrow so that I have all day Thursday to clean up our room and to pack and such. I'm so thrilled to be going home on Thursday! I just have to remember to call Dad and tell him to bring some Christmas cookies with him for the ride home. And to pack up all my laundry and sweaters for skiing and stuff. I wasn't very excited about going skiing, and I'm still not, but maybe it will be more fun than I anticipated. Who knows, right? seems to be my phrase of the day.
Well, I've got to work and get going on those papers today as well, so I'm out for now, but I haven't been wanting to blog in ages and suddenly today was overcome with a need to write SOMETHING, anything, so at least I have this outlet. Huzzah for blogs.
And I am not using this as an outlet for bragging or anything, but this just made my day so wonderful. I know I should be over the whole worrying if I'm good enough in my major and worrying about not having any skills, but I'm not. I usually manage to put up a much more secure front than I actually have, and so this was so incredibly reassuring and wonderful for me.
I'm the same way about working at the Oracle; most of the time I just think I'm wasting their time or taking up space. Which is probably not necessarily true, but I feel so worthless around there sometimes! Then again, if I were really worthless, Graham and Manney probably wouldn't be as nice to me as they are. So maybe it's all okay.
I also had my R.A. interview yesterday. I think it went reasonably well, but now that I know they are interviewing a total of ten people for the position and two of those people are already C.A.s on campus, I'm really not expecting to get it anymore at all. But who knows, I guess it could happen, I'm just very aware that the odds aren't too much in my favor.
Truly, today has been so much better than I would have expected. I still have two papers to finish up for Lit. Theory and Ethics by Thursday, but I'm actually planning (hoping) to finish them tomorrow so that I have all day Thursday to clean up our room and to pack and such. I'm so thrilled to be going home on Thursday! I just have to remember to call Dad and tell him to bring some Christmas cookies with him for the ride home. And to pack up all my laundry and sweaters for skiing and stuff. I wasn't very excited about going skiing, and I'm still not, but maybe it will be more fun than I anticipated. Who knows, right? seems to be my phrase of the day.
Well, I've got to work and get going on those papers today as well, so I'm out for now, but I haven't been wanting to blog in ages and suddenly today was overcome with a need to write SOMETHING, anything, so at least I have this outlet. Huzzah for blogs.
Wednesday, September 29, 2004
is it really almost october!?
Goodness, how this month has flown by! Holy cats. I can't believe it's the last day of the month already. School is in grand swing, and things are going pretty well. I got hired the other day as the brand new Associate Editor for the Oracle, which is pretty cool because the campus paper is actually quite a good one for the most part. I'm also still busy with being HIRC secretary and still doing some NCC business, plus I'm getting sort of re-involved with Inter-Varsity and working at the Wesley Center again, so combine those things with my homework and I don't exactly have tons of free time floating around. My classes are really interesting though, for the most part, and I'm glad I'm taking them. I especially enjoy my British Lit. class and Ethics, but Lit. Theory and my "Disease and Society in International Perspectives" are going okay, too. I think. I hope.
Anywho, though, I have class later tonight (6:30) and I have to do my British Lit. as well as eat dinner before class and meet with my debate team at 5:30 before class, so I'm off for the evening.
Anywho, though, I have class later tonight (6:30) and I have to do my British Lit. as well as eat dinner before class and meet with my debate team at 5:30 before class, so I'm off for the evening.
Wednesday, September 01, 2004
ah, such is life.
Hey, everyone, guess what!??! I'm still at work and I'm still bored. But it's cool because I only have three more hours to be here...haha. Aaargh. Ok. New rule for this post; no more whining. I do far, far too much of it anyway.
I heard from Krystle today, which was super. Golly gosh whizzbang, I miss that girl! I don't know what to do without her. I'm like, "Hmm...I want to see a movie with Krystle!" And then I pick up the phone to call her and then I remember that she is in New York, for cryin' out loud. She called me the other night (if briefly) to excitedly tell me that she had just come within like a foot of Hugh Jackman. My jealousy, needless to say, is immense.
I have not heard from Leslie now since the last time I saw him, which was a rather awkward event that took place a couple of weeks ago...though I did hear from my roommate that he randomly stopped by our room to offer to hook up her new computer. I thought that was a bit strange and a little weird, that he knew where our room was and that he got in with his tech keys to do that. But as my mother said, if we were just friends and we had never dated, I probably wouldn't think anything of it. I countered with the argument that if we had never dated, he probably wouldn't be offering to do that for Brit in the first place. I'm probably stressing about it too much, but I can't help it. I hate to say it, but things were left so awkwardly between us that I cannot help feeling a little weirded out by what he did. Hamline, though, is a rather small campus and I suppose I ought to just get used to the idea that I'm going to have to run into him all year anyway. I just don't want to. I would rather (selfish and terrible as this is) spend my time thinking about other things. It was never as good a relationship as I thought it ought to be. I think there was seemingly so much in him that I thought I wanted or should want that I talked myself into believing it was a better, healthier relationship than it ever truly was. Shame on me. And none of that is his fault, because the problems I saw in the relationship are things he never thought of. Ironically, that's what the problem WAS- our priorities and ideas of what the relationship ought to be were so different that I now know I'm so much better off as I am. Sigh. If only I'd realized it sooner.
Hmm. Well, I guess that's not at all complaining, though it is a most melancholy post. However, I do feel better and I have whiled away another twenty minutes or so of my work shift, so 'tis a deed well done.
I heard from Krystle today, which was super. Golly gosh whizzbang, I miss that girl! I don't know what to do without her. I'm like, "Hmm...I want to see a movie with Krystle!" And then I pick up the phone to call her and then I remember that she is in New York, for cryin' out loud. She called me the other night (if briefly) to excitedly tell me that she had just come within like a foot of Hugh Jackman. My jealousy, needless to say, is immense.
I have not heard from Leslie now since the last time I saw him, which was a rather awkward event that took place a couple of weeks ago...though I did hear from my roommate that he randomly stopped by our room to offer to hook up her new computer. I thought that was a bit strange and a little weird, that he knew where our room was and that he got in with his tech keys to do that. But as my mother said, if we were just friends and we had never dated, I probably wouldn't think anything of it. I countered with the argument that if we had never dated, he probably wouldn't be offering to do that for Brit in the first place. I'm probably stressing about it too much, but I can't help it. I hate to say it, but things were left so awkwardly between us that I cannot help feeling a little weirded out by what he did. Hamline, though, is a rather small campus and I suppose I ought to just get used to the idea that I'm going to have to run into him all year anyway. I just don't want to. I would rather (selfish and terrible as this is) spend my time thinking about other things. It was never as good a relationship as I thought it ought to be. I think there was seemingly so much in him that I thought I wanted or should want that I talked myself into believing it was a better, healthier relationship than it ever truly was. Shame on me. And none of that is his fault, because the problems I saw in the relationship are things he never thought of. Ironically, that's what the problem WAS- our priorities and ideas of what the relationship ought to be were so different that I now know I'm so much better off as I am. Sigh. If only I'd realized it sooner.
Hmm. Well, I guess that's not at all complaining, though it is a most melancholy post. However, I do feel better and I have whiled away another twenty minutes or so of my work shift, so 'tis a deed well done.
ho-hum...
Well, I've been at work for a grand total of...let's see...28 minutes and already I'm bored. I'm afraid it's going to be a long night, however, it's going to be my very last long night, as this is the last time I will close this office. I work Friday, Saturday, Sunday, and Monday, but all on day shifts, so I am nearing the finish now. I will be so glad to get back to school! I'm actually quite looking forward to most of my classes; the only one I'm a tad nervous about is my Literary Theory class because I hear the prof. is a bit of an ogre. This is most unfortunate, as I am an English major and she is the head of the department, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed that she will like me!
In my English-major nerdiness, I have been lately re-reading many of my classic favorites- I've been on a particularly large Jane Austen kick and have already re-read "Emma" and "Pride and Prejudice." I need most especially to re-read "Northanger Abbey" though, for I've read it only once before and if I intend to declare myself a true Jane Austen fan, I have concluded that I must be able to say that I've read all of her complete novels multiple times, and this is currently a true statement with the singular exception of "Northanger Abbey." Haha! I just re-read that paragraph, and its form and structure seem to reveal how engrossed I have been in Austen lately. It actually sounds a little pretentious, but that's okay.
I had been planning to visit St. Ben's/St. John's tomorrow but I do not now foresee that happening. I'm so busy trying to get all the rest of my things organized for going back to school that I still have quite a lot of cleaning and packing and organizing to do, and I really ought to visit my grandparents tomorrow as well. Ashley and I talked about having dinner in St. Cloud on Monday night; perhaps she can talk Caitlin and/or Jake into coming with as well...
Well, this post is getting rather long and tedious and is likely of very little interest to anyone but my own self, so off I go to do...well, something.
In my English-major nerdiness, I have been lately re-reading many of my classic favorites- I've been on a particularly large Jane Austen kick and have already re-read "Emma" and "Pride and Prejudice." I need most especially to re-read "Northanger Abbey" though, for I've read it only once before and if I intend to declare myself a true Jane Austen fan, I have concluded that I must be able to say that I've read all of her complete novels multiple times, and this is currently a true statement with the singular exception of "Northanger Abbey." Haha! I just re-read that paragraph, and its form and structure seem to reveal how engrossed I have been in Austen lately. It actually sounds a little pretentious, but that's okay.
I had been planning to visit St. Ben's/St. John's tomorrow but I do not now foresee that happening. I'm so busy trying to get all the rest of my things organized for going back to school that I still have quite a lot of cleaning and packing and organizing to do, and I really ought to visit my grandparents tomorrow as well. Ashley and I talked about having dinner in St. Cloud on Monday night; perhaps she can talk Caitlin and/or Jake into coming with as well...
Well, this post is getting rather long and tedious and is likely of very little interest to anyone but my own self, so off I go to do...well, something.
Tuesday, August 31, 2004
Monday, August 30, 2004
so, this whole following through thing...
Haha, so much for my glorious plans to keep up in my blog! I've been much better at keeping up with my regular journal.
I find myself growing pensive as summer draws to a close...it's really been a wonderful summer for me, for the most part. There have, of course, been some disappointments and sadnesses, but overall I've just been so much happier than I have in so long! I miss everyone who's gone now, of course, because it's a bit lonely being on my own, but much of my loneliness was alleviated this weekend when I saw Pete, Caitlin, Jake Swenson and a bunch o' his friends from St. John's at the State Fair. I had a super day, just hanging out with and seeing the friends. Haha, Jake's new friends probably thought I was either weird or stuck up or crazy but it's ok because I had fun and they were all pretty cool. I miss Krystle so, so much though! But it sounds like she's having a wonderful time in NYC, and I'm very glad for her. I would rather she be very happy and myself a little lonely than anything else.
We have an exchange student at my house, too, her name is Hanna and she's really nice. But I feel bad because I'm so terrible at making conversation and getting to know people and she probably finds me hideously dull. Oh well; I'm trying. I really am.
All of my stuff is moved down to the cities now; I desperately wanted to just stay on campus after that. I just didn't want to bother coming home. I'm amazingly excited for this school year to begin; I'll be secretary of HIRC and active in my hall and (keep your fingers crossed everyone) will also hopefully be either a reporter/writer or editor for The Oracle, which would be so much fun. I would love to be the opinions editor, but it's kind of a long shot for me to go after it, so we shall see. I also really need to start preparing for study abroad...so much to keep me busy this year!
Well, I must be going, for I have lots to do today on my almost last day off from work, so I'm outta here for now, but if you all are reading this I hope you're enjoying it! Or at least not being bored to tears.
I find myself growing pensive as summer draws to a close...it's really been a wonderful summer for me, for the most part. There have, of course, been some disappointments and sadnesses, but overall I've just been so much happier than I have in so long! I miss everyone who's gone now, of course, because it's a bit lonely being on my own, but much of my loneliness was alleviated this weekend when I saw Pete, Caitlin, Jake Swenson and a bunch o' his friends from St. John's at the State Fair. I had a super day, just hanging out with and seeing the friends. Haha, Jake's new friends probably thought I was either weird or stuck up or crazy but it's ok because I had fun and they were all pretty cool. I miss Krystle so, so much though! But it sounds like she's having a wonderful time in NYC, and I'm very glad for her. I would rather she be very happy and myself a little lonely than anything else.
We have an exchange student at my house, too, her name is Hanna and she's really nice. But I feel bad because I'm so terrible at making conversation and getting to know people and she probably finds me hideously dull. Oh well; I'm trying. I really am.
All of my stuff is moved down to the cities now; I desperately wanted to just stay on campus after that. I just didn't want to bother coming home. I'm amazingly excited for this school year to begin; I'll be secretary of HIRC and active in my hall and (keep your fingers crossed everyone) will also hopefully be either a reporter/writer or editor for The Oracle, which would be so much fun. I would love to be the opinions editor, but it's kind of a long shot for me to go after it, so we shall see. I also really need to start preparing for study abroad...so much to keep me busy this year!
Well, I must be going, for I have lots to do today on my almost last day off from work, so I'm outta here for now, but if you all are reading this I hope you're enjoying it! Or at least not being bored to tears.
Tuesday, August 17, 2004
new blog...
I decided it was time to leave my livejournal account, because...well, mostly because I was bored with it. And also because I wanted to try some new stuff, which I couldn't do at that place. This site gives me a bit more freedom to do whatever I want, so I'm going to try to get used to it before myself and all my friends go away to school. The title of this blog, I must admit, I have stolen from a poem that my good friend Mary wrote a long time ago. She might be surprised to find that I still have the poem. It's not my poem to post here, but it's one of my favorite things that she's ever written, and it somehow reminds me to take life as seriously as possible and yet not so seriously at the same time. If that makes any sense. Anyway I have to be off to work at my lovely job but I may update more from there; for now, I just wanted to get this thing started.
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