killing time...

Even though I should be attacking my physics to try to nail this stupid final. I HATE cumulative finals more than anything, especially in a class like physics where the different units don't relate to one another. My Shakespeare final I'm a lot less worried about for the simple reason that I understand the material and how the different materials connect to one another.
A conversation with Graham sparked my mind into thinking about my major and how much I love it. I'm the nerdiest English nerd I know, and I love every minute of it. I love looking at a text and hunting for inconsistencies or for beautiful words and phrases to read through. I love looking for different patterns in the language, for different ways to phrase things, looking for ways to let words touch me. I wish I could write in a way that would affect others even a fraction of the way in which some of my favorite works have affected me. I started wondering what I would be majoring in if I weren't an English major, and truthfully, I have no idea whatsoever. As much as I procrastinate and complain and sometimes struggle, I love the ideas and texts and professors of my department. I've never felt academically dissatisfied at Hamline, I don't think, which I am gathering is something fairly unusual.
It's strange; most kids come to college and love their social lives but hate their classes. For me it was the other way around for a very long time, although this year and especially this semester I feel like I'm finally finding a niche, finding people with whom I'm comfortable and happy to share my life with. It's a good feeling.
Tonight Mal and I are going to chill out with each other and do something cool. I don't know what yet, but I'm sure we'll think of something.
Even though it was dampened with dark spots, this weekend was one of the best ones of my life. Truthfully. It makes me sad to be going home for the summer when I've just found people here that I love spending time with so much. But then again, home carries the promise of Krystle and Adam. And hopefully Caitlin and Jake on occasion, and seeing Graham before he leaves for Germany. And the excitement of visitation. Visits are more exciting than regular hanging out because they get made more special, so I get to claim that for myself when I come down here this summer.
Now. Physics. Could I hate that class any more right now? That's what I thought.