today

Today has been, without a doubt, one of the most RIDICULOUS days of my entire life.
Details to follow some other time.
Right now I am too consumed with the absurdity of this day to expound upon this subject any more.

tired.

I am exhausted. I am running on something beyond empty. I have reached the level at which it is actually easier to get only a few hours of sleep because my system has adapted to getting only a little sleep so a full night of sleep becomes more painful than not enough.
This has become my life. I read this column pretty religiously and it usually strikes a chord with me somewhere, but this one pretty much was about me.
How did I get here?
Collectively, the amount of stuff I do should not leave me feeling this way. I am busy, yes, but should I be this thinly stretched?

three weeks and counting.

I'm going to New York over spring break to see Krystle!! I am ridiculously excited to see her. We haven't properly spent any time together since August. Which is much, much too long ago. I miss her so much. She is my best friend in the world (except for Mel and Mal) but she understands me differently than they do because she has known me longer. Not that much longer, but enough longer to have seen me transition through a lot of crap.

Also, I'm not going to lie. I'm incredibly restless. Since being back from abroad I have a traveling bug like no other. It is really difficult to explain to people though, but I feel like if I stay in Minnesota much longer I'll go crazy, and I've only been back for two months. Someone asked me today what it is exactly that I miss about England and I couldn't come up with a good answer.

I think it's the whole experience. I loved York - that city and I were meant to come together, I swear. And I miss the experience of every day being an adventure. I'm incredibly busy here but my life has very quickly fallen back into a routine. Which is not a bad thing - it's just that I had more freedom and independence while I was abroad than I ever have before, and I miss that feeling - that I can do whatever I want. I can't just hop on a train to Scotland anymore, or take a weekend trip to visit Lena.

All this growing up to do. I've started planning for grad school already. I don't know when I want to go but I know I do want to, very much. I took a practice single-subject lit. test last week and it was SO HARD! I don't think I will ever get into any of the schools I dream of going to. But for the next year I will read like crazy and study and look for keys and practice and work hard at the classes I am in now in order to secure a good transcript and killer recommendations. And then I will take that GRE, and I will fear it not, and I will kick it's butt. I hope. So going to New York can also be construed as educationally helpful, since it will help me decide if I want to go to grad school there or not.

Three cheers for New York City! I can't wait until I am there and not here.