sitting, waiting, wishing....

It's a Wednesday and it's my last night at Hamline until next October, assuming that everything goes through for study abroad. I'm actually in the Oracle office right now, with Malin, waiting for Mel to call.
If someone had told me even two months ago that I'd have such mixed feelings about going home for the summer, I'm not sure I would have believed it. It's amazing how quickly friendships can take root when they need to. I think part of me is just afraid that some of my newer friends will wind up not being my friends just as suddenly as they became my friends, thought I think that's probably just me being crazy.
Tonight wasn't really the night I had hoped for, but I've come to realize it doesn't matter. There are going to be many more opportunities not only to figure out my thoughts on certain subjects but also to spend time with the people I care about and to have fun with them. There will be many visits this summer, of that I am certain. It won't, of course, be the same, but it will still matter in the way that only particular moments and laughs can matter.
I'm also really going to miss the Oracle. I'm sort of addicted to it. I complain about filling my pages and irresponsibility and my own admitted laziness, but when it comes down to it, it's grown to be something I need to do somehow. I think it's because pretty much everyone else here is super cool and a lot of them are a huge part of the reason I've been even remotely happy lately. I don't have any idea what I'd do without them. especially mel and mal.
I'm halfway through my college career already. At least, I am as an undergraduate student. There's always grad school, of course, but who knows when and if I'll ever even get there, and it'll definitely be a very different kind of experience than this has been so far. I'm sad that my time here is half over when I've just figured out how to be okay with myself here, but the good news is, I have two years to get it right. Or rather, three semesters after I get back next year. I can't get over how weird that is for me!
I finally finished with Physics today. I don't think my final went terribly well, but I don't think it went terribly badly, either. At any rate, I feel fairly certain that I won't get less than a B in the class, and although that's definitely not what I was shooting for, it's also something I can definitely live with. My Shakespeare grade should be interesting. I have no idea what she's going to think of my final. I really liked my essays, but they were kind of abstract and I don't know how much detail she was looking for, so I guess I'll just have to see. I think my papers are ok though.
Here's to hoping my roommate isn't mad at me for being out until 3:30 a.m. the night before I leave without her! But she has no reason to be because she could've called my cell at any time during the night and she did not. Lots more to post about (disclaimer: if one has a strong affinity for the Star Wars movies, one might want to consider carefully whether or not to read my next post(s)).