oh me oh my what a world.

I worry too much. FAR too much. And then I get carried away and go a little crazy and then five hours later, when I finally force myself to really think and consider what I have done/said/thought, I realize that I've been silly and crazy and overreacted for no good reason, but by that point saying anything else would be foolish and make me sound even dumber so I just let it pass, hoping people will forget what a loser I can be.

Ever since Manney died, I have this little warning alarm in my head that causes me to become somewhat imbalanced whenever I hear about anyone being sad or depressed and it makes me go a little nutty. And I wish it didn't, because I'm sure I do and say things that make people go, "Whoa. Settle freakin' down." They are absolutely correct to say so. It's just that I have this intense need, more than ever before, to make absolutely totally completely sure that all of my friends know that I'm there for them in any capacity if I need them. Heck, I was ready to skip a day of school, pack up and go broke catching a flight to New York this spring when I thought Krystle might want/need me around, and it's been a rough year for many, and so I find myself on emotional overload a lot.

I've always been a worrier, though. Ask Mary. She always used to laugh at me and tell me to quit mothering everyone - and it is totally true. That's what I do. I don't know why. It's like whenever people come over to my house, my mother and I are both compelled to make sure that there is just tons and tons of food for people to eat. Some people are satisfied with making popcorn and having chips, but me? no. What do I do? I make veggie pizza and mongolian skewers and bake brownies and make kool-aid. And have chips. I get too much from my mother, I think, but in a way I guess that is a good thing as well.

On a less abstract and more cheerful note, I saw "Batman Begins" last night. Pretty darn sweet. I enjoyed it enormously. And not just because of Christian Bale, either, although he didn't hurt. He turned in a stellar performance, as did most of the cast members except for Katie Holmes' character, who just never quite seemed to fit 100% into the story for me. But I'm gonna stop being such a nerd now and go finish up some work. And eat my freakin' dinner, already. I had to clean a room and do some maid service so I haven't even had the chance to eat yet. Sheesh.