on and on

I think I've said this a lot this summer, but especially now, all of my days just sort of blend into one another. There isn't any thing to particularly distinguish any of them from another except for a few differences at work. Actually we had a lot of nice guests over Labor Day weekend and only one truly cranky lady that I took note of. There was one couple in particular - they were super nice. They were at the resort last summer, too, and remembered me and knew my name and made a point to stop by and chat and stuff every day. It was so nice; I love them. It's funny how much a difference it can make. It's just nice to be treated like a person instead of an invisible but convenient little robot who exists to tend to the needs of others. Not that most people are mean or anything, not at all, they're just kind of indifferent.

It's really disconcerting for me to be at home knowing everybody else is starting classes now. I feel like I should be at school; I actually really WANT to be at school. I miss campus and classes and friends and profs. and even my cramped dorm room Manor 105. It's like for the moment everyone is so engulfed with their classes and campuses that I don't quite figure in at all right now. I can't wait to go to England. Everyone's so busy and just absorbed with other things, which is certainly to be expected. I guess I'm sort of in limbo. Everyone else has TONS to get done and they're all scurrying to it but I don't have much of anything going on. I should try to order some books, though, I suppose so I can maybe get ahead in my reading before I go abroad.

In other news, my dad is both driving me insane and causing me worry (unintentionally, of course). My family is coming to London over Christmas and I was really really excited about that, because I didn't really want to spend Christmas alone without my family. But now all my dad can do is moan about money (and trust me, things have definitely been tight at times but my family is NOT in dire straits by ANY stretch of the imagination) and talk about wanting to visit some things in Germany and how everything costs too much and how he doesn't even really want to go skiing in the Alps (which he and my brother were maybe going to do) because it's too expensive. Everything as far as he's concerned is always too expensive. I don't think he's ever at a point where he feels like he can afford anything. It just makes me sad. For one, I feel like he doesn't even want to see England, a country I absolutely love and adore and York, a town that I LOVED LOVED LOVED when I visited it and will now be living in. Couldn't he be a little bit excited to see it for my sake if nothing else? I mean, I have nothing against Germany, trust me, I loved it when I was there, but I just feel like he doesn't even want to see the place where I'll be living for months and I don't understand that. He doesn't seem to want to go at all. There's no excitement about the adventure there. And he doesn't take any joy in the idea and it's making it hard for me to be excited about my family coming over; instead I feel guilty for being the cause of so much additional expense, even though I know it's surely not going to break our budget.

Whew. Well there's one rant over and done with. I just wish he were happier, I guess. And maybe that's selfish because maybe I wish he were happier so that I could be more excited, but that's the story.

Nevertheless, I am determined to be excited about going to England in less than four weeks and I am determined to have a fabulous time. I fully intend to love every second of it. So there. Haha.

The weather is beautiful today after a few days of clouds and storms. Yeesterday it was storming like DIRECTLY over us at work and I made the foolish mistake of asking the manager if the paddleboats were far enough up on the beach not to wash away into the lake and she sent me down to check. So I'm down there, in like 25 mph winds, wearing a skirt and a poncho (which, by the way, was totally worthless in that kind of wind) tugging with all my might at these paddleboats which weigh a ton more than they should because they're full of water to try to get them further up on the beach. I must have looked absolutely ridiculous. I hope none of the guests saw. Or if they did, I guess it doesn't matter, as they'll be gone by the time I return to work on Thursday. But oh, it was funny. And then I was quite damp the whole way home and afraid my car was going to be struck by lightning. The storm was just like RIGHT overhead and it was kind of scary, but all's well that ends well, right? Oh I'm such a silly girl. I worry about too many things. In retrospect, worrying about my car getting struck by lightning is a bit overly dramatic. But it was a scary storm to drive through.

I'm so happy to have a couple of days off. There's so much I should try to get done, but I know today will be a day mostly devoted to bumming around doing not much of anything. And I'll tell myself that I'll get the work done tomorrow, but it probably won't happen then, either. Isn't that how it usually goes?