morning comes

Well I'm not nearly so cranky and despairing as I was last night, but I'm definitely still very bummed out about this summer. I will probably just work at the resort again; I'll ask them for a raise and I think they'll give it to me. I was a good employee - I complained to everyone else ABOUT my job, but I didn't complain at work and I was always on time and never called in sick, plus now I am already trained, so I don't think asking for a raise is too unreasonable. I'm just going to really really miss having the companionship of the friends that I've spent the last three summers with, but I guess that's just part of growing up. Growing up sucks. I'm 20 years old - 20!!! Which I know isn't particularly old, but I feel strange not being a teenager anymore. I'm techinically in the category of "young adult" and I'm not sure that's something I'm really ready for.
Last weekend when I was home, I saw "In Good Company" with Adam. It was a really good movie, but that isn't the point. The movie is partly about corporate takeovers and instability in jobs and winding up in a job you thought you wanted but hating it. What if that's what happens? I'm putting all this hope into someday going into editing/publishing in children's literature, and I either never get there or get there and wind up failing utterly? Frightening thought. I guess there's no way to know until I get there, though, right? So the best thing is just to keep praying and listening and going on ahead. I know now that I do NOT want to be a film critic, anyway. I used to think that would be such a cool, fun job, but now that all I do is watch movies and write about them, I'm totally sick of it and it's only been a couple of weeks :) so that is obviously not the place for me.
I'm really excited about being the new Opinions editor for the Oracle, though. I think that will help a ton in a lot of ways - as soon as the Oracle's up and running I'll be spending more time with the kiddies there and I will not only be less bored, I'll definitely be less lonely. I didn't realize how much I depended on working there until we stopped putting out production for J-term and now I can't wait to get back.
In the meantime, however, I have two (!!) films to watch today for class, which we aren't even supposed to HAVE today; it's a Monday-Thursday class. Yechh. Oh well. Off I go.