oh, oracle.

I really haven't been this cranky in quite some time now. It's late, and I'm at the Oracle office (again), and I don't usually mind, but I've been out late a lot this week and I've barely slept and have eaten only at random intervals, and none of that puts me in exactly a fantastic mood. I saw the Robot House boys' band play on Tuesday and I hit up the Heiruspecs show at the Trock last night, as it was my birthday present to Tim, and I actually really had a good time. But right now, tonight, I'm cranky with still being here, and I'm cranky that I'm too exhausted to do my job as well as I'm capable of doing, and I'm super, super sad that I won't get to sleep for more than a couple of hours (again) tonight.

We seem to be having some communication issues tonight, as well as some content issues. Last week's issue was definitely better than this one, I think, as a whole. I don't know what's wrong with us all this week, but things are just ridiculous right now. We are stagnant. This issue isn't fresh, it isn't that compelling, save for a few stories, and we are disorganized and irritable.

But the people here, by and large, are such good people. And that's why, even on nights like this when I want to throw things and kick something and scream and maybe even cry a little, I stay. Because these people are my family away from home, my totally dysfunctional psychotic disagreeing family that, when kept in too close of quarters for too long, starts to insult its own members and argue and complain but when it comes down to it, I think we'd all do anything for each other.

I don't know what I'd do without these kids. I got so much happier at Hamline after I joined the Oracle. I was sort of adrift before that, but this little group of people is my social core. I have plenty of other friends that I spend plenty of time with, but no one I spend more time with or in closer quarters with. And there are certain things that you go through with people, and they cement you together forever regardless of your differences, and Manney's death was one of those things and it ties me to this office and to these people on a very profound level.

I will probably read this entry tomorrow at some time and feel a deep, intense need to copy-edit it, because I'm sure that I've made dozens of mistakes in this already, but I'm too tired and worn out and lazy to fix it right now. I may get to it, but if not oh well. I'm sure the message is getting across anyway.

Life's been pretty good lately overall though. I can't complain too much. Most things are going rather well. I like my classes, I like my jobs (especially my new one for the English department - I could not possibly work for nicer people than that group of professors), and I have a very satisfactory social life. Too satisfactory, almost - it's the reason I'm so damn worn out right now. I'm going to have to work on that.